Weekend Warrior

I am being boss by taking back my weekends.

There is such a myth in our culture of overachievers and entrepreneur-driven business that we need to be on it 24/7. That we need to hustle it out each and every day, to claw our way to success with late nights and early mornings and too much caffeine and not enough sleep.

But recently, I think there is also been a big pushback against this idea.

Newsflash: We are not surgeons.

No one will die if we don’t answer that email the second it reaches us. Buildings will not fall. Bombs will not go off if we don’t send out that quote the second we get off the phone with a potential client.

And if a client doesn’t want to book us because we didn’t respond at 9pm on a Friday night, then maaaaaybe they’re not the right client.

So I am slowly, painfully, and sometimes unsuccessfully, trying to take back my weekends.

Yes, I often ‘just send this one email’ or ‘just get this one thing sent’ before breakfast when I should be taking the time to be present at home. But I have been working to make it a priority not to schedule anything on my weekend days to set myself up for success.

The biggest struggle I’ve been facing with taking back my weekends is that my “weekend” is not a traditional one, for a myriad of factors. I tend to have weddings or events on Saturdays, and John works as a bartender so Friday through Sunday are his biggest work days. So my “weekend” days have become Monday and Tuesday, which are also John’s days off.

And for me, I have found that a huge very important noquestionsasked part of taking a weekend is about taking it with my partner in crime. Because when we don’t have a day or two to be together and enjoy life and go on picnics and bake bread, our relationship feels more strained. And the point of all of this - of all of the time, and the stress, and the effort of work, is so that we can build the life that we want together. And if we can’t enjoy the life we are building as we build it, what is even the point?

But there is a big kick-back when your weekend days aren’t the traditionally prescribed weekend days. I often have to work on Saturdays and Sundays even when there’s not an event to set up, which means I have to turn down a lot of social engagements. And when I am trying to be off the clock on Mondays and Tuesdays, I often feel a lot of pressure from clients or potential clients to respond immediately to emails, or send out proofs or quotes, because they are starting their workweek and want to get shit done. And I totally get that, which is why it’s hard for me to say no.

So I am trying, and some days I am successful and sometimes not. I have found that not checking email is the best way to have a successful weekend (duh), but sometimes I do it unconsciously and then there’s no turning back. I have also found that if we leave the house I am way more likely to not fall back into the habit of doing work, but a great part of a good weekend is sitting around in your PJs all day and binge-watching Netflix, so leaving the house isn’t always part of the agenda.

I think a great tactic to try next will be an email autoresponder that I can set on Sunday afternoon and remove on Wednesday morning, to help people realize that Mondays and Tuesdays are my weekend. If you have an irregular weekend and you have a tactic you use, please let me know what works for you!

This blog post was written as a prompt from Being Boss, which is pretty much the raddest podcast ever. If you don’t listen to it, drop everything and pick up those ear buds!

Document

I wanted to document how I am, in this moment. I get more of my tattoo done tomorrow, and I'm not saying I won't miss the space on the front of my arm, but it will look very different once it's filled in. Trying to keep reminding myself that I will be so glad I took photos like this when I'm 60, or 80, and looking back on my young life, even if it makes me self-conscious to document it. 

A Non-Traditional Dream Board

I’ve never really done a traditional mood board because they’ve always felt a little too touchy-feely to me. But recently I read a blog post from Lucky Bitch that talked about some alternatives to the traditional dream board and I was inspired to make my own on Pinterest.

Goals and dreams are tricky things - they are hard to pin down, and for me, sometimes, they encompass more of a feeling than an actual physical thing. The idea of freedom, of adventure, of spontaneity, of kinship. How do you find an image to represent a feeling? There are tangible things that I want, yes, but something in the wanting has always made me realize that it’s less about achieving the physical tangible good and more about the feeling it provides.

There is so much stigma in our culture about wanting material things, especially I think for women. We are taught that wanting is evil, that we should be happy with what we have and make do and be thrifty. We are taught that to want something pretty or expensive or luxurious is vain, is wasteful.

I don’t necessarily believe that these things are true, but I do agree that it is impossible to completely remove yourself from these stories that are ingrained in us from such an early age. And I know it could take a lifetime to overcome these negativities. So, for now, I’m making a dream board that includes physical things, yes, but that is more about the feelings I aspire to manifest in realizing these material goals.

I want to do things that are crazy and big and bold and I don’t want to feel like I have to apologize to anyone for doing them.

I want to travel and have adventures and live spontaneously without feeling guilt about money or time spent away from my business.

I want to feel confident in my work so that I can walk away and take a break knowing it is not all going to collapse while I’m gone.

I want to do things that come easy to me, that I enjoy, and I want to get paid well for them. And I don’t want to apologize for that either, because work does not have to be a constant teeth-grinding struggle.

I want my work and my life to be intermingled, to be creative for myself and for my soul but also for my bank account. Because I also shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting to make money from my creativity.

I want to live a life of luxury, in small ways. I want to wake up slowly, next to the love of my life, every day. I want to take walks without my phone. I want to bake pie just because. I want to spend an afternoon in the garden (or every afternoon in the garden). I want to read books that feel magical, and then gush over them with close friends. I want to drink cocktails on the porch and watch the sunset.

I want to feel gratitude and abundance for my life now, not my life in five years. Or ten. Or a hundred. I want to be out of debt but I also don’t want to miss what’s happening now because I am so focused on racing into the future of being debt-free.

And yes, I want people to read my blog, because I think I have important things to say. So thank you, if you are reading this, for being here.